tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
