I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
