She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
A bitchslap is in order.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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