i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
