I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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