just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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