how can u be prego again
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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