I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
