I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
