booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You're like the curious george of whores
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
