brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
