I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
