You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
