exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
