Umm I'm too high to move.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
