she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize