How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
