dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I can tuck mytits in my pants
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We just shotgunned beers for America
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
