How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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