i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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