Yo dont text me then not text me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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