They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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