I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
