just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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