woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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