Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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