No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
