Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize