Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
