so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, you know. whores of a feather.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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