At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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