wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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