And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
