Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
