I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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