By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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