Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
