careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
