I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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