She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
