What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize