Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
