Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
