I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
