And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize