the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
