Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Found the puke drawer
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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