bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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