cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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