Your mouth is God's brothel.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
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I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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