I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think i have herpe
just one?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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