When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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