i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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