He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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