Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
