dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
