I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
