Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize