She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
