Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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