Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
