I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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