Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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