best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
