And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
